If You’re Not LIVING It You Don’t KNOW It

Wow.

That’s just about all I can say.

This weekend I attended my second Millionaire Mind Intensive and it was even more life-changing than the first one. This one was in San Francisco, so I didn’t have to fly anywhere. And even more important, T. Harv Eker was there this weekend.

If you’re interested in personal development or have any interest in creating more wealth – of all kinds – in your life you must see Harv.

Well, that’s assuming that you’re willing to hear the truth.

Harv is a truth-teller which means it’s not always easy to hear what he has to say. But if you want to change your life and you are ready and willing to listen to what he says you want to go check him out.

At the beginning of the weekend, you’re introduced to the “three most dangerous words in the English language.” Any idea what they are?

I KNOW THAT!

Once you know something – or even worse, THINK you know something – the game is over. You stop learning and growing. Your mind turns off and closes down to new information.

One of Harv’s most important points is that if you’re not living it, you don’t “KNOW” it. The first time I went to the Millionaire Mind Intensive I got some great insights, but there was still a part of me that fell into the “I know that” trap. So I didn’t get as much out of it as I could have.

At this MMI I was ready and willing to participate fully. I was ready to let go of my image of myself and look at the reality of my life – which is a much better reflection of what I “KNOW.” And because of that I had some huge personal breakthroughs.

Have you ever fallen into the I KNOW THAT trap? It’s not just for “know it alls.” We all do it. And it can be extremely subtle. But once those three words kick in, your ability to hear, accept and apply new information basically shuts down.

Here’s the bottom line: Look at your life.

Do you have as much money as you want?
Do you have as much joy and fun and happiness as you want?
Do you have as much love and intimacy as you want?
Do you have as much confidence as you want?

If you answered “No” to any of those questions there is something you DON”T KNOW. You may have read it somewhere. You may understand it intellectually. You may even be starting to apply it in your life. But if you aren’t fully living it you haven’t embodied it which means that you don’t trulyknow it!

And until you do, the three words, “I KNOW THAT,” will continue to hold you back.

So take a moment to look at your life. Where would you like to see some imnprovements?

Now ask yourself what knowledge you need in order to make those changes.

Or you may need to look at what knowledge you already have that you need to begin applying! Because remember, if you’re not living it, you don’t know it!

So I encourage you to be on the lookout for those three most dangerous words in the English language. (And if English is not your first language, go ahead and translate them into your language). And when you catch your mind trying to convince you that you know something ask yourself these two simple questions:

Am I living this knowledge?
Is my life a reflection of this knowledge?

If the answers are “No” you don’t know it! And if that’s the case it’s time to get yourself back into the best school there is… LIFE!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Abundance, Blocks, Money, Personal Growth, financial freedom, life hacks

SleepTracker Pro Watch Review and Recommendation

3 Comments

SleepTracker Pro

Have you ever noticed that some mornings, when the alarm goes off, you’re wide awake and ready to jump out of bed and start your day, and other mornings… well, you just aren’t?

Well you probably know that during the night you cycle through different sleep stages from light, almost awake sleep, through the dreaming state, down into deep, dreamless sleep and back up again. You move through this cycle several times each night.

On the mornings when you don’t have to set your alarm and can wake up whenever you want, you naturally arise when you’re in one of those light, almost awake stages of sleep.

However, on the mornings when you have to be up at a certain time, your alarm clock does not know where you are in the cycle and wakes you up at the time you have set, regardless of where you are in your sleep cycle.

If the alarm happens to go off when you’re in a light part of the cycle, great! But if it goes off when you’re in a deep, dreamless sleep state, you are NOT going to feel like getting up!

Enter the SleepTracker Pro Watch.

I’ve been using this cool little device for about 2-months now, and I can tell you that it definitely works!

The theory behind Sleeptracker is simple but effective: It tracks your movements during the night in order to find the best time to wake you in the morning. Here’s what their website says:

SLEEPTRACKER® continuously monitors signals from your body that indicate whether you are asleep or awake. Because you wear SLEEPTRACKER® on your wrist like a watch, its internal sensors can detect even the most subtle physical signals from your body. SLEEPTRACKER® finds your best waking moments, so that waking up has never been easier.

To use the SleepTracker, you set the alarm for the latest time you want to wake up. Then you set a Window during which the SleepTracker will watch for a moment when you are in a light phase of your sleep cycle.
For instance, if I need to be up by 6:00am, I’ll set the alarm for 6:00 and the Alarm Window for 30-minutes. Then, at some point between 5:30am and 6:00am when the Sleeptracker senses that I am close to being awake, the alarm will go off.

Yes, that means that on some mornings, I’ll be up 30-minutes earlier than I “need” to. But because I’m waking up during one of the light sleep state, it’s much easier to get up.

Again, this is from the Sleeptracker website:

By monitoring your sleep cycles for optimal waking moments during the preset ALARM WINDOW, SLEEPTRACKER® finds those almost awake-moments and gently wakes you when you’re most alert. The result? You wake up refreshed instead of groggy. Waking up has never been easier.

Does it work?

In my experience, yes!

Now keep in mind that I’m a morning person, so in general it’s fairly easy for me to wake up. However, since becoming an early riser, there have definitely been mornings when the alarm going off at 5:00am caught me in one of the deep stages of sleep.

Since using the Sleep Tracker those mornings have been very rare. In fact, in the 2-months that I have been using SleepTracker there have only been 2 mornings when the alarm went off at the end of my Alarm Window and caught me in a deep sleep. And each of those mornings were after I had gone to bed much too late.

Usually, the alarm goes off when I am already becoming aware that it is time to get up. And, in fact, there have been quite a few mornings when I have been lying in bed thinking, “Hmm, if this was in my Alarm Window the SleepTracker would be going off right now,” just as the alarm went off!

Other Features:

Vibrating Alarm:

The SleepTracker includes a vibrate alarm which is great if you’re an early riser sharing a bed with a not-so-early riser! I also find that the vibrating alarm wakes me a bit more gently than the audible alarm.

Sleep Data Collection:

Another cool feature of the SleepTracker Pro is its ability to store the data from each of your night’s sleep. (Note that the standard version does not store and upload data). There is a USB cable and software included that allows you to upload your sleep data to a computer and track the quality of your sleep over time. This allows you to track what factors influence your sleep patterns both positively and negatively.

I used the data tracking feature for about 2-weeks and found it interesting. But for me it was not interesting enough to continue uploading the data each morning. Sleeptracker only stores one-night’s worth of data, so if you want to track your sleep patterns you need to upload the data every day.

Note to SleepTracker: If the watch stored more than one-night’s data I would be much more likely to use and benefit from this feature.

I do, however, check my data manually each morning. You can view your sleep data on the Sleeptracker with a view button pushes. And even without the graphs I have benefited from this information.

Nitpicky Stuff:

Other than a desire to have the watch store a week’s worth of sleep data, I have nothing negative to say about the functionality of the Sleeptracker.

The only area I have a little quibble with is the aesthetics of the watch. It’s just not a watch I would choose to wear on a daily basis. This would be less of a problem if they expanded the data storage capacity - then I would only need to bring it into the office once a week. But when I was tracking my sleep data I had to wear – or bring – the watch into my office every day.

And I will say that the Sleeptracker is definitely a conversation starter!

Interestingly, the SleepTracker Standard, which does not allow you to Download Sleep Data to PC looks more like a “normal.”

Bottom Line:

If you’re not a morning person and you have a hard time getting up in the morning, the SleepTracker can help get your mornings off to a better start. And that means that your entire day will be better!

After all, the way you feel when you first wake up often determines the tone of your entire day. The SleepTracker can wake you up gently and allow you to ease your way into the morning. No more jarring alarms and multiple snooze button cycles!

If you’re already a morning person and want your mornings to be even more graceful, the SleepTracker can help you too.

I wear SleepTracker every night, with the alarm set for 5:30am and the Alarm Window set for 30-minutes. Even on Sundays when I let myself sleep in I still let the SleepTracker wake me up and then meditate or go back to sleep if I feel like it.

Product Details:

Price: Sleeptracker Pro - $179; SleepTracker Standard - $149

Warranty: 1-year

Guarantee: 30-day unconditional money back guarantee.

Where to Buy:

You can purchase the SleepTracker Pro or Standard directly from the manufacturer.

Right now they’re offering free shipping (not sure if that will last). You can also have the Sleeptracker giftwrapped for an extra $4.99. And this would definitely be a great gift for anyone you know who could use a little help getting up on the RIGHT side of the bed!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Personal Growth, life hacks, technology

3 Simple Solutions to Your Law of Attraction “Problems” – Free Teleclass

Personal Growth Resource Roundup #15

1 Comment

Welcome to another installment of the Personal Growth Resource Roundup. As you may already know, in these roundups I bring you personal growth resources from unexpected and sometimes surprising sources. I believe that there are life lessons everywhere. So, while I do include great resources from more “traditional” personal growth sources, the focus is on getting us outside of that box. Here are this week’s resources!

Let’s begin with one last reminder about Earth Hour. It’s tonight! The movement has definitely picked up some steam since the first time I wrote about it and even since last week’s personal growth resource roundup. Apparently it’s grown so much that their site is being very slow! If you haven’t watched the video yet, and their site is slow or not responding, you can watch the Earth Hour Video here. And then tonight, in just over 12 hours, at 8:00pm, turn off your lights for 1-hour, Earth Hour! Let’s see the difference we can make when we all turn our lights off!

What will you do during that hour without lights? I’ll be putting Ella to bed. And once she’s asleep I’ll probably play the piano softly by candlelight. Hmm. Sounds like something I might start doing more often!

Leave a comment and let me know what you’re going to do.

Next up is a reminder that Part 1 of my free report - The Energetics of Attraction: Understanding and Applying the Harmonics of Human Awareness is available.

Part One, which is available now, begins with an exploration of why the Law of Attraction may not be “working” and then moves into the five levels of human perception, awareness and response.

Part Two, which will be available soon, will cover the following topics:

* Recognizing your primary perceptual level.
* The role of the subconscious in the Law of Attraction.
* Understanding the Harmonics of Human Awareness.
* Using the Harmonics of Human Awareness to empower your work with the Law of Attraction.

Just fill in your name and email below and you can download the free report now!

Now let’s move on to Problogger! And just what, you might say, does Darren Rowse and Problogger have to do with personal growth? Well, even as far back as February of 2007 I was wondering if Darren was going Personal Developmenty on us!

Personally, I think that one of the reasons why Problogger is so successful is because Darren has infused it with a positive energy that encompasses much more than blogging. And while he probably would not say this, I feel that the underlying message of Problogger is that if you want to be a better blogger, become a better person. Now, maybe I’m reading too much into what’s happening between the lines… or maybe not.

But either way, this guest post, by Easton Ellsworth, on The Greatest Blogging Skill, most certainly qualifies as a personal growth post, even though it uses blogging as a vehicle to express it.

And while we’re on the subject of blogging, let’s talk about SOBCon-08! Oh how I would love to be there! You can just tell, from the buzz, from the energy, and from the amazing people who go to SOBCon that it’s one of those business events that will inspire you to become a better blogger by becoming a better person. It’s not looking like I’m going to get there this year. But if you have that weekend open, and want to get some great information and connect with some amazing people, I definitely recommend it!

And speaking of the amazing people you’ll get to meet at SOBCon, Wendy Piersall is one of them. Currently, Wendy is moving through quite a process over at Emomsathome. She is rebranding her blog network. And having been privileged to be part of the process, I can assure you there is a LOT of personal growth happening over there. Don’t believe me? Check out this post on the Empty Blog Nest.

Let’s get at least one resource in the mix from a more personal developmenty blog! You think money can’t buy happiness? Check out this post from Rick Cockrum at Shards of Consciousness, How Money Can Buy You Happiness. You might be surprised.

And finally, don’t forget that Oprah and Eckhart Tolle’s Worldwide world-changing Webinar moves into week 5 on Monday evening. This week will focuon on Chapter 5 of Eckhart’s book, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.

If you haven’t watched last week’s class, you can access the On Demand version Oprah’s New Earth Web Event here and download a video, MP3, watch a streaming version or grab a transcript of the show.

If you haven’t already registered, head over to Oprah’s site now to sign up. It’s free and most definitely personal developmenty!

That’s it for this week’s personal growth resource roundup.

See you next time.

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Link Love, Money, Personal Growth, life hacks

The Five Secrets You Must Discover before You Die

2 Comments

I was recently sent a copy of John Izzo’s new book, The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die. I’ve just begun reading it, and so far, it’s great!
John is the host of the popular PBS show which inspired this new book as well as the author of Second Innocence: Rediscovering Joy and Wonder: A Guide to Renewal in Work, Relationships, and Daily Life and Awakening Corporate Soul: Four Paths to Unleash the Power of People at Work.

If Five Secrets turns out to be as good as I think it’s going to be, I have a feeling I’ll be getting my hands on those when I’m done with this time. Watch for a review of Five Secrets, next week. In the meantime, here’s an article from John that gives a nice preview of the book.

What are the secrets to happiness and meaning?

Why do some people find a deep sense of purpose while they are here and die with few regrets while others end their lives bitter and disappointed?

About two years ago I set out to answer that question by asking several thousand people to identify the one person they knew who had lived a long life and found true happiness. It seemed to me that each of us knows at least one person who achieved true success. After receiving over 1,000 nominations, I interviewed 235 people from the age of 59-106 (who had over 18,000 years of life experience) asking them to reflect back on their lives: What brought happiness? What gave meaning? What did they regret? What did they wish they had learned sooner? What did not matter in the end?

These “wise elders” were an incredibly diverse group ranging from a town barber to CEO’s, from poets to native chiefs, Holocaust survivors to war veterans, and represented all the major religions and cultures of our society. My goal was not to interview famous people but to identify ordinary people who had found extraordinary happiness. What I discovered were five clear themes of what it means to live a happy and meaningful life (and to die with a smile on your face). In my new book, The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die, I share the five true paths to finding meaning in life and show how we can live these secrets.

1. Be True To Yourself

The first secret I learned from these interviews is Be true to yourself. Each one of us is on a unique human journey and the path to true happiness is to be true to ourselves. This means knowing what brings us happiness and focusing our life on what matters to us. It means reflecting on a regular basis as to whether our life fits our soul. In our daily lives it means knowing what brings us joy and ensuring that we fill our life with the right elements. It also means following our unique destiny. One of the people I interviewed was a Latino woman who talked about the importance of following our “destina.” The idea is that each of us has a path that is most true to us, which is not so much a destination as a way we are meant to be in the world. For example, I am a teacher and philosopher by nature and when I stay close to that path I experience true joy.

Being true to self often means drowning out other voices that would ask us to live their dreams instead of ours. Ron, a gifted chiropractor, told me the story of how he planned to become a medical doctor but when he visited a chiropractor shortly before starting medical school he discovered a profession that connected to his true self. “Others told me I was crazy but I knew it was my path.” He told me that to follow your heart you must have the “discipline to listen and the courage to follow.” This means asking if the life we are living is true to our deepest sense of self and it sometimes requires a step of courage to follow our soul. Are you being true to yourself right now?

2. Leave No Regrets

The second secret I learned is to Leave No Regrets. It seems to me that what we fear most as we age is not death, but rather to come to the end of our life feeling that we never truly lived. The saddest words ever spoken at the end of life are “I wish I had…” Tom, a native healer, told me that the great fear at the end of life is “the great incompleteness; that you did not do what you came here to do.” One of the most interesting things I discovered in talking to 235 wise people is that almost no one regretted risks they took that did not work out and most said they wished they had risked more. When I asked these people about major crossroads in their lives, many of them talked about taking risks-sometimes large and sometimes small-which wound up bringing great happiness. One of the keys to moving towards what we want instead of what we fear is to focus on the best possible result and not the worst. Are you going for what you truly want in your life or acting with fear.

3. Become Love

Become Love was the third secret I learned from these people. Not surprisingly, the greatest source of happiness for people and the largest place of regret had to do with people. What I discovered is that those who made people a priority in their lives and who developed deep personal relationships found true happiness. Many of them told me that “things” rarely brought true joy whereas family and friends brought lasting happiness. One way to focus on relationships is to get intentional goals for our personal relationships just like we do in our careers.

Yet the most interesting thing I uncovered is that being a loving person, the choice to give love, is even more important in determining happiness than getting it. These people talked to me about the importance of choosing love and kindness as your way in the world. They taught me that when we choose to be a loving person we find a deep sense of meaning in life.

4. Live the Moment

The fourth secret was to Live the Moment. One of the most common things people told me was how fast life goes by and how important it is to enjoy each moment. One woman told me “when you are young you think sixty years is an incredibly long time but when you get there you realize it was only a moment.” Among the secrets they shared were how important it is to live in the present, to fully enjoy whatever experience you are having (and not to wish you were somewhere else), and to live with gratitude focusing on what you are grateful for rather than what you don’t have. They told me that we have no power over the past and little power over the future. Many of them said that whenever you find yourself saying “I will be happy when or I will be happy if” that it is important to remember that happiness is a choice we make inside. One woman told me: “You have to stop judging your life and start living your life. Stop keeping score trying to decide if you are winning. Instead live each day fully and stay in the moment.” Are you living with gratitude right now, focusing on enjoying your life rather than judging it?

5 Give More Than You Take

The fifth and final secret was to Give More Than You Take. When I asked people what gave their life the greatest meaning, people told me again and again people that being of service and knowing that you made things better because you were here was by far the greatest source of meaning. I learned that whether in career or personal life, that it is what we give not what we take that gives life meaning. Many of them also reminded me that we have little control over what we get from the world every day (whether people will love us, whether we will win the lottery, etc.) but we have complete control over what we give to the world (whether we choose to be kind, charitable, and to give to others). These people reminded me that everything we take from the world dies with us, but everything we give to the world gets recycled. A wise woman named Susan told me that “when we are young we cry for ourselves but as we age we learn to cry for the world.” Indeed all the spiritual traditions remind us that true happiness comes from focusing on being of service and in the process joy finds us. Are you focused on giving or getting each day?

You Must Live the Secrets

What I also discovered is that it is not enough to know the secrets, we must live them. One man told me “many of us know what is important but it is not enough to know, you have to put these things into practice.” These people taught me a great deal about how to live the secrets as well and I share many of their techniques in the book. One of my favorites was sixty-four year old Joel who told me about how he reminds himself each day to live the moment. “When I wake up the first thing I do is say a prayer thanking God and the universe that I get to live one more day and I pray that I will treat it as a gift. At night, just before I go to bed, I have a time of meditation and remember all the things that I am grateful for that day and ask for one more day.”

Copyright © 2008 John B Izzo John Izzo, Ph.D. is the bestselling author of Second Innocence: Rediscovering Joy and Wonder: A Guide to Renewal in Work, Relationships, and Daily Life and host of the public television series The Five Things You Must Discover Before You Die. Holding advanced degrees in religion and psychology, Izzo has spoken to over one million people on four continents about living more purposeful lives. More information about Mr. Izzo can be found at www.theizzogroup.com.

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Books, Personal Growth, life hacks

A New Earth – Week 2: Ego

1 Comment

In week 2 of the Oprah, Eckhart Tolle webinar on A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life Purpose, we begin an exploration of ego. Let’s use this space to continue to explore this concept.

What does ego mean to you?

How did Tolle’s explanation of ego in the book and/or webinar deepen or shift your understanding of the concept?

Identifying with objects

In the book, Tolle tells the story of a dying woman who accused one of her caregivers of stealing her diamond ring. Tolle describes the anger this woman experienced because of the loss of this “valuable” object. He went on to share that:

“In the last few weeks of her life, as her body became weaker, she became more and more radiate, as if light were shining through her. She gave many of her possessions away, some to the woman she thought had stolen the ring, and with each thing she gave away, her joy deepened.”

What objects do you identify with?

Look around your home or office and ask yourself “how many of the things I see do I describe as ‘mine?’”

How would it feel to give these things away?

Can you imagine being in a state where giving away these possessions would bring deeper joy?

What is in the way of that happening now?

Your Week 2 Flower Petals:

In the workbook for the webinar we are being asked to pick our two favorite passages or quotes from the book. At the end of the 10-weeks, we will have a beautiful flower whose petals inspire us to continue the process of awakening.

What are your petals from week 2?

Here are mine.

When you don’t cover up the world with words and labels, a sense of the miraculous returns to your life.

Yielding means inner acceptance of what is. You are open to life. Resistance is an inner contraction, a hardening of the ego. You are closed. Whatever action you take in a state of inner resistance (which we could also call negativity) will create more outer resistance, and the universe will not be on your side; life will not be helpful. If the shutters are closed, the sunlight cannot come in. When you yield internally, when you surrender, a new dimension of consciousness opens up. If action is possible or necessary, your action will be in alignment with the whole and supported by creative intelligence.

Use the comments space below to leave your quotes, answers to the questions above, or any thoughts, observations or further questions you might have.

Don’t miss any of these A New Earth discussions: Sign up to get updates by email or RSS. It’s fast, free and no-risk!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Books, Personal Growth, consciousness, life hacks

Personal Growth Resource Roundup #13

2 Comments

personal growth resources Well this lucky 13 edition of the Personal Growth Resource Roundup is chock full of goodness! Seems to me that the quality of personal growth related content on the web just keeps getting better and better. And to that I say, “Rock On!”

First up is the Law of Attraction carnival. If you haven’t heard, Dean Lacono of Law of Attraction for Beginners, and Ellie Walsh of Living the Law of Attraction have taken over the longest running Law of Attraction blog carnival. And so far, they’re doing a great job! The theme of this edition, number 29, is Relationships - How to use the Law of Attraction to create, maintain, improve relationships.

Then there’s Jonathan Field’s post Is Visionary Just Another Word for Masochistic? I don’t know about you, but sometimes being out here on the Leading Edge of Thought feels pretty crappy! But I wouldn’t give up my spot on the Leading Edge for anything. Does that make me a masochist? Maybe. Jonathan starts with this quote from this Seth Godin post, “Remarkable visions and genuine insight are always met with resistance.” If you feel that your Visions are being met with resistance, go check out this article.

Next up, Dawud Miracle takes an inspiring look at what we can learn from how Ben Franklin ran his businesses. There are number of excellent lessons to be learned from Ben, but I think this is my favorite: “Do not fear mistakes. You will know failure. Continue to reach out.”

Alex Shalman must have taken a look in my car when he wrote this extremely helpful post on How to Declutter Your Car! If your car looks like mine, go check it out.

And finally, don’t forget that Oprah and Eckhart Tolle’s Worldwide world-changing Webinar continues Monday evening. This week will focuon on Chapter 2 of Eckhart’s book, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.

They promise to have the technical issues worked out. So if you had problems watching last week’s webcast, hopefully this one will be better.

And after watching it, be sure to leave your comments and questions here.

If you haven’t already registered, head over to Oprah’s site now to sign up. It’s free.

That’s it for this week’s Personal Growth Resource Roundup.

If you like these links be sure to sign up to get free updates by email or RSS. It’s fast, free and no-risk!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Law of Attraction, Link Love, Personal Growth, life hacks

Have You Seen Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture?”

5 Comments

Just a quick head’s up in case you haven’t seen this video from Randy Pausch. Randy is a professor at Carnegie Mellon University where the professor’s have a tradition of giving their “last lecture:” the lecture they would give if they were dying. Well for Randy, this is not just an exercise. Randy is dying of cancer.

He gave this lecture on How to Achieve Your Childhood Dreams

I could tell you more about it, but I think I’ll leave it to Randy. However, I will encourage you to spend the full 11 1/2 minutes watching this first video all the way through to the end. There are some truly powerful insights at the end.

Here’s the 12-minute “cliff’’s notes version of the lecture he gave on the Oprah show recently:

And here is the full lecture he presented at Carnegie Mellon. This one is over an hour.

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Death & Dying, Desires, Dreams, Inspiration, Personal Growth, Physical Body, life hacks

The Italian Driving Method of Personal Growth

7 Comments

Did you ever see the 1970’s super-cheesey movie, Gumball Rally? Alright, I admit I probably watched it about 20 times back then. It was fun, when I was ten.

Well, for some strange reason, a scene from that movie popped into my head the other day. (This might give you some insight into my state of mind!)

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of seeing this cinematic tour de force, The Gumball Rally is an illegal New York to LA car race with absolutely no rules. The winner, in addition to all the glory, gets to take home the coveted Gumball Machine! And I’m sure you can imagine the creative sorts of mischief that the drivers get up to as they attempt to arrive before everyone else at that finish line.

The scene that popped into my head takes place at the beginning of the movie and the starting line of the race. It’s our first introduction to the driver of team Ferrari, Raul Julia, who is sitting in his Ferrari convertible with his co-pilot, a much less experienced, and if my memory serves me, non-Italian, driver. Raul turns to him and says:

“And now my friend, the first-a rule of Italian driving…” Here he reaches up, rips off the rear-view mirror and tosses it, with much Italian flare, out of the car. “…What’s-a behind me is of no importance. ”

Now certainly don’t recommend that you rip the rear view mirrors off of your car and start driving around with that attitude. However, when it comes to personal growth, I think this rule has some validity.

There is an approach to personal growth that goes something like this: “Until I uncover all of my past wounds and heal each and every one of them, I will never be happy, fulfilled and abundant in my present life.”

This attitude is rarely that explicit, and it’s almost never conscious. But there are many people (and I speak from my own personal experience as well as my observations of others) who, on some level, believe they can not have a great life until they have “handled” all of their past wounds. They seek answers to the questions: “Why am I the way I am now?” “Why do I always act this why?” “What happened to me?” “Who did this to me?”

That approach to personal growth has the potential to suck us down the rabbit hole into a never-ending search for the “cause” of what is “wrong” with us. We can end up traveling back in time to heal our past more often than we spend rooted in the present, focused on creating a better life now! At that point, our journeys into the past are not longer about finding answers that can help us improve the present. Those journeys become a way of avoiding the work that will create the positive changes in our lives.

And that’s never a good thing!

Here’s something I’ve discovered, something those voices don’t tell you when they’re suggesting that you take another journey into your past to find another wound to heal. You ready?

Balancing a bit of Raul Julia’s attitude can often create a more healthy relationship with the past and lead to a better life now and into the future.

I’m not suggesting that you completely throw away the rear view mirror when it comes to looking at your past. I don’t think that’s even possible. But maybe spending a bit less time looking in that rear view mirror would be helpful.

Certainly there is a lot that we can learn from exploring our past, including (and perhaps especially) the painful parts. But if we are to truly grow, the information we discover must be used to empower positive change in the present. In other words, we must act in the present on what we learn from the past.

So the next time you find yourself heading down memory lane, before you go there, remember the young, suave Raul Julia, sitting in his Ferrari and repeat these words: “What’s-a behind me is of no importance!”

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Fun, Personal Growth, Well-Being, life hacks

How To Leverage Punctuated Equilibrium For Personal Growth

3 Comments

Roller Coaster Have you heard of the Term Punctuated Equilibrium? It’s the term evolutionary scientists use to describe a widely held theory related to evolution. According to this theory, evolution happens mainly in short bursts of rapid and sometimes massive changes that “punctuate” long stretches of “equilibrium.”

It’s also sometimes, and affectionately I’m sure, called Punk Eek! (I think it’s safe to say that those evolutionary scientists have a darn good sense of humor and maybe a bit too much time on their hands!)

Here’s the official Wikipedia definition:

Punctuated equilibrium is a theory in evolutionary biology. It states that most sexually reproducing populations will show little change for most of their geological history, and that when phenotypic evolution does occur, it is localized in rare, rapid events of branching speciation (called cladogenesis).

Got it?

This theory is not accepted by all scientists: Another school of thought embraces what they call Phyletic Gradualism (these guy s don’t have a catchy nickname) which states that evolution happens gradually and continually.

Here’s the Wikipedia definition:

Phyletic gradualism is a macroevolutionary hypothesis rooted in uniformitarianism. The hypothesis states that species continue to adapt to new challenges over the course of their history, gradually becoming new species… During this process, evolution occurs at a slow but constant rate; for this reason, it is known as “evolution by creeps” (as opposed to punctuated equilibrium, or “evolution by jerks”)

Phyletic gradualism has been largely deprecated as the exclusive pattern of evolution by modern evolutionary biologists in favor of the acceptation of occurrence of patterns such as those described on punctuated equilibrium, quantum evolution, and punctuated gradualism.

Note that this theory “has been largely deprecated,” meaning it is no longer accepted by a large portion of the scientific community.

And that makes sense to me, because in my personal experience and observation of others, personal growth and evolution seems to happen more like Punctuated Equilibrium than Phyletic Gradualism. And it makes sense that our personal evolution would follow a similar pattern as our macro or societal evolution.

There are times, most of the time in fact, when we are coasting along, making gradual, incremental changes in our lives. We are in a homeostasis or equilibrium state. There’s nothing wrong with this. In fact, these times are important because they allow us to rest and integrate and prepare for the next round of punctuation!

Because, once in a while, our equilibrium is punctuated by something that throws us into a rapid state of growth. It could be a job loss or a divorce, an illness or the death of a loved one. Or it could be something internal that just bubbles up to the surface ready to be acknowledged and healed so that you can move to the next level of your life.

So if you accept that personal evolution flows in a pattern of Punctuated Equilibrium pattern how can you leverage this knowledge to accelerate your personal growth? Here are some suggestions:

1. Learn to recognize when you are in a phase of equilibrium or homeostasis and when you are in a phase of punctuation or rapid growth.
If you want to leverage this pattern to accelerate your personal growth the first step is to become aware of which part of the cycle you are presently in. Begin to recognize the symptoms and signs of equilibrium and of punctuation. There will be physical, mental, and emotional patterns indicative of each phase. In general, if you notice you are having more resistant emotions than usual, it is a sign that you are either in or moving towards a period of punctuation.

2. Ideally, learn to recognize the signs that you are beginning to move from a period of homeostasis into a period of rapid growth.
A more advanced form of awareness provides you with an early warning system. You begin to recognize the signs and signals that indicate you are preparing to head into a period of rapid personal evolution.

3. Take full advantage of your time in the equilibrium state.
For leading edge thinkers, the equilibrium state is not a time for twiddling your thumbs. This is a time of integration, rejuvenation and sharing. During these periods of homeostasis you put into action the insights and new awareness you have gained from the last round of punctuation. This is also a time for sharing and modeling what you have learned with others. And finally, this is a time to truly enjoy and appreciate our life experience.

4. Don’t rock the boat of equilibrium.
This is a tough one for me. I was affectionately given a charter membership in the “Gluttons for Growth Group” while working through the Master of Intuition Program I was going through the Academy of Intuition Medicine. For some of you, like me, the equilibrium times will be the uncomfortable phase. If there is no crisis or upheaval or rapid growth happening, you’ll want to shake things up and jump right back into a period of punctuation. Don’t do it! Both phases, equilibrium and upheaval, are necessary for your personal growth. And trust me…your equilibrium will be punctuated without your help.

5. When your equilibrium is punctuated, ask for support.
Let go of the Lone Ranger approach to personal growth. It doesn’t work! When you find yourself in a period of rapid growth or approaching one, call in the cavalry. When you ask for and allow support into your life during these times of rapid growth, you can dramatically accelerate your return to equilibrium. It’s important to have support systems in place before you enter a period of punctuation. I just launched a new program, the Rapid Evolution Mentorship, for times like this.

6. Just say “NO” to the sweep it under the rug school of personal evolution.
During times of rapid personal growth, crisis and upheaval, it is tempting to do whatever you can to return to homeostasis as quickly as possible. During these times of potential growth, issues will most likely come up that are uncomfortable and downright painful. Sweeping them under the rug does not make them go away. It just causes them to go back into hiding and regroup for the next round. And when they come out next time you can bet they will be even more potent! And even if you are able to return to equilibrium it will be at the same level as before. You will not have stepped up to the next level in your personal evolution and will have, therefore, wasted the time you spent in the punctuation period.

7. Mine the moment for gold.
It is during these periods of upheaval and rapid evolution that you will find the true gold in your life. Carl Jung called this the “Gold hidden in the shadows.” During these periods of rapid evolution higher levels of personal awareness are available to you if you’re willing to do the work. In this case, doing the work means being willing to look at and explore whatever is coming up. When you dive into the underlying elements that are bubbling up from your subconscious mind, you will facilitate a faster return to equilibrium AND a higher level of personal awareness. In other words, you will bring that gold back with you into your next period of equilibrium. And that gold will help you create a better life for youself and for those around you.
8. Know that it’s all good!
This is a tough one for some people. Most of us want to claw our way out of those periods of punctuation as quickly as possible. A few of us slightly strange folks (yes I’m one of them) can’t wait to dive back into the punctuation. In reality the most enlightened approach to Personal Punctuated Equilibrium is to enjoy both phases. Think of it this way: At an amusement park you’re not on a ride the entire time. You walk around, grab a snack, wait in line, and then get on a roller coaster for a short, thrilling ride. Punctuated equilibrium works the same way. You need both of them if either of them is to be truly effective.

Both the periods of punctuation and the periods of equilibrium are necessary for our personal growth. And if you judge either of them as bad or negative, you will minimize your ability to grow and the overall quality of your life.

So enjoy all of it and always be ready for your next ride!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Comfort Zone, Life Coaching, Personal Growth, life hacks

If You’re Not LIVING It You Don’t KNOW It

SleepTracker Pro Watch Review and Recommendation

3 Simple Solutions to Your Law of Attraction “Problems” – Free Teleclass

Personal Growth Resource Roundup #15

The Five Secrets You Must Discover before You Die

A New Earth – Week 2: Ego

Personal Growth Resource Roundup #13

Have You Seen Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture?”

The Italian Driving Method of Personal Growth

How To Leverage Punctuated Equilibrium For Personal Growth

Personal Growth Resources

And here are the most recently commented entries:

Categories

Subscribe To Evolving Times

Here are the most recent Personal Growth Articles:

Search Evolving Times

Additional Resources

Positive Blog Network

Friends, Good Reads & Other Resources

Recent Leading Edge Creators

Credits