Are you willing to be the hero in your life story?

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And did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange
a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?

— Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here

I rented the movie Transformers last week. Now hold on just a minute before you give me a hard time. Sometimes you just need to chill out with a mindless movie. I never watch TV so once a week I give myself the opportunity to indulge my inner child and watch a fun movie. And this was actually very fun!

But I’m not writing this to get you to go out and rent Transformers. (Although I know you want to!) No, this is about your life. Isn’t it always?

Joseph Campbell - Hero with a thousand facesYou see, as I was watching, I started to think about why we have so many action/adventure/sci-fi movies and why I enjoy them so much (especially the sci-fi ones). And as I was watching and thinking about it (so much for mindless!) Joseph Campbell’s book The Hero with a Thousand Faces  popped into my head. Now you’re probably wonder what the heck does Joseph Campbell have to do with the Transformers? Not a lot, really. But somehow through my warped grasp on reality I managed to tie them together!

If you don’t know Joseph Campbell, he was perhaps the most famous and influential mythologer of the 20th century. And, let’s face it, as sad as it might be, these movies are a major part of our cultural mythology. I mean I grew up on Marvel comic books and those little suckers provided the stories and myths that I needed to make it through an otherwise life draining childhood.

And whether myths are stories told around a campfire, or tales told during a sweat lodge ceremony, or action adventure movies watched in 3D, they server a purpose. And that purpose is to remind us that we are the heroes of our lives.

We’re all on a hero’s journey. Whether or not we know it, our lives are the journey and, like it or not, we are the hero! The problem is that most of us never realize that we’re the hero on the journey of our life because our lives don’t very often resemble the Transformers or Lord of the Rings, or the Matrix, or Live Free or Die Hard.

Mostly we think that our lives are just, well, normal.

But that’s where we’re wrong. Our lives are anything but normal. And we get to choose, in every moment, whether we’re going to be the hero in our life, or if we’re going to watch our life pass by.

Remember the scene in Three Kings (another one of those hero myth movies) where George Clooney explained how courage worked to one of the other guys.

The way it works is, you do the thing you’re scared shitless of, and you get the courage AFTER you do it, not before you do it.

Well that’s how life works, even if you’re not in the Iraqi desert trying to find Saddam’s gold. Except that in our “normal” lives the things that we’re scared shitless of don’t seem like they should be all that scary. So we don’t think that our lives are an adventure or a journey. And we don’t think that we’re the heroes. But we are.

But every time we do the thing we’re scared shitless of - things like saying yes when the boss asks for someone to do a presentation, or starting our own business, or telling someone welove them for the first time, or asking our crush out on a date – we’ve stepped into the role of hero in our life.

So stop waiting for your life to turn into an adventure and start living as if it’s an adventure now!

Stop waiting for the moment when you have to be “heroic” and start looking for those moments right now, every day.

You don’t have to be battling Megatron to be a hero. Your battles are happening right now, even as you’re reading this. Ask yourself, “What would a hero do, if he or she was living my life right now?” And then go and do it!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Fun, Inspiration, Personal Growth 

The Italian Driving Method of Personal Growth

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ferrariDid you ever see the 1970’s super-cheesey movie, Gumball Rally? Alright, I admit I probably watched it about 20 times back then. It was fun, when I was ten.

Well, for some strange reason, a scene from that movie popped into my head the other day. (This might give you some insight into my state of mind!)

For those of you who have not had the pleasure of seeing this cinematic tour de force, The Gumball Rally is an illegal New York to LA car race with absolutely no rules. The winner, in addition to all the glory, gets to take home the coveted Gumball Machine! And I’m sure you can imagine the creative sorts of mischief that the drivers get up to as they attempt to arrive before everyone else at that finish line.

The scene that popped into my head takes place at the beginning of the movie and the starting line of the race. It’s our first introduction to the driver of team Ferrari, Raul Julia, who is sitting in his Ferrari convertible with his co-pilot, a much less experienced, and if my memory serves me, non-Italian, driver. Raul turns to him and says:

“And now my friend, the first-a rule of Italian driving…” Here he reaches up, rips off the rear-view mirror and tosses it, with much Italian flare, out of the car. “…What’s-a behind me is of no importance. ”

Now certainly don’t recommend that you rip the rear view mirrors off of your car and start driving around with that attitude. However, when it comes to personal growth, I think this rule has some validity.

There is an approach to personal growth that goes something like this: “Until I uncover all of my past wounds and heal each and every one of them, I will never be happy, fulfilled and abundant in my present life.”

This attitude is rarely that explicit, and it’s almost never conscious. But there are many people (and I speak from my own personal experience as well as my observations of others) who, on some level, believe they can not have a great life until they have “handled” all of their past wounds. They seek answers to the questions: “Why am I the way I am now?” “Why do I always act this why?” “What happened to me?” “Who did this to me?”

That approach to personal growth has the potential to suck us down the rabbit hole into a never-ending search for the “cause” of what is “wrong” with us. We can end up traveling back in time to heal our past more often than we spend rooted in the present, focused on creating a better life now! At that point, our journeys into the past are not longer about finding answers that can help us improve the present. Those journeys become a way of avoiding the work that will create the positive changes in our lives.

And that’s never a good thing!

Here’s something I’ve discovered, something those voices don’t tell you when they’re suggesting that you take another journey into your past to find another wound to heal. You ready?

Balancing a bit of Raul Julia’s attitude can often create a more healthy relationship with the past and lead to a better life now and into the future.

I’m not suggesting that you completely throw away the rear view mirror when it comes to looking at your past. I don’t think that’s even possible. But maybe spending a bit less time looking in that rear view mirror would be helpful.

Certainly there is a lot that we can learn from exploring our past, including (and perhaps especially) the painful parts. But if we are to truly grow, the information we discover must be used to empower positive change in the present. In other words, we must act in the present on what we learn from the past.

So the next time you find yourself heading down memory lane, before you go there, remember the young, suave Raul Julia, sitting in his Ferrari and repeat these words: “What’s-a behind me is of no importance!”

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Fun, Personal Growth, Well-Being, life hacks 

11 Tips to Lighten Up The Compulsively Serious (or Break the Grip When Seriousness Strikes You)

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Lighten UpIs there someone in your life that’s always serious? Someone who’s quick to point out the risks involved or why you shouldn’t do something.

Or perhaps there’s a part of you that falls into that serious space from time to time? I do. I’m a pretty happy-go-lucky sort of guy most of the time. But every so often I feel my serious side starting to get a bit ambitious. And before it gets out of control I like to bring some balance and lightness to the situation.

Now don’t get me wrong, seriousness is not a bad thing. But it has the potential to become a problem if it’s not balanced with fun and lightness.

So here are some tips that I use (well, maybe not all of them!) to stay balanced. Maybe they can help you lighten up your serious side. And, of course, feel free to pass these on to some of your more serious sidekicks!

1. Go to a funny movie.
Laughter is one of the best remedies for out of balance seriousness. Get yourself to a funny movie and let the laughter break the spell. Extra points if it has no redeeming qualities. We’re talking Dumb and Dumberer here!

2. Hang out with fun people.
When you catch yourself getting serious, it’s time for a fun infusion. You do have some fun friends, don’t you? Call them up and go hang out with them. Extra points for every stupid joke told!

3. Take a break from your serious friends.
You know the ones I’m talking about! Now, don’t worry, you don’t have to dump them forever. Just take a few days off. You’re in fun infusion mode. The fewer rain on your parade types you have around the better. Extra points for not calling your parents or some other especially serious fixtures in your life!

4. Do something just for fun.
When serious strikes the last thing you feel like doing is anything without a definite purpose. That’s why it’s an especially good serious antidote. Go to the beach. Go for a hike. Play a game of golf. Put on a CD you haven’t listened to in a while. There’s got to be something you can think of that you could do just for fun. Extra points if it’s during work hours!

5. Get drunk, alright tipsy works.
No, I’m not condoning alcoholism here. This one is more for those mostly teatottaling types like me. Once in a while, a drink or two can help break the grip of seriousness and let the fun come out. Extra points for playing pool really badly while drinking a beer!

6. Surf YouTube for funny videos.
Sometimes a hilarious five-minute video will do the trick and snap you out of that serious space. Extra points for stopping after just one!
Here’s a good one to start you off:

Thanks to Caroline Middlebrook for turning me on to this one!

7. Go on a news boycott.
Let’s face it: the news is pretty darned serious. We could probably get away with calling it somber, sobering, or downright depressing! When the serious spell starts to grab hold of you, taking a few days away from the news can make a huge difference. Extra points if you use your regular news reading time to catch up on the comic strips!

8. Hang out with some young kids.
Kids, especially the little ones, haven’t had enough time hanging around with us to get too serious. So spending time with them is a great why to relieve the serious stuff. Extra points if you build sandcastles along with them!

9. Go bowling.
All right, it doesn’t have to be bowling. Could be badminton, bocce ball, or anything that is so far removed from your normal athletic pursuits that you won’t care how bad you do and will just let yourself have a goofy good time. Extra points for standing at the line and doing the kid-style, two-handed, underhand bowling throw!

10. Have a Karoke Party.
Gather up your friends and head down to your local karaoke bar and start belting out those tunes. No karaoke bar available? No problem, you can buy a used karaoke machine at Amazon for under $50. And then you can have a karaoke party whenever you need one. Extra points for not allowing any Frank Sinatra songs!

11. Dance like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.
As far as I can tell there’s absolutely no way to remain serious while doing some of JT’s moves from Saturday Night Fever. A close second would be dancing to the Village People’s YMCA. If you can keep a straight face while acting out those letters you’re a better person than me. Extra points for bringing the boom-box outside and doing it where your neighbors can watch!


Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Fun, Personal Growth, Well-Being 

6 Personal Growth Themed Halloween Costumes

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For those of you who have still not decided what you’re going to be for Halloween, here are a few last minute ideas that will let you put this holiday to good use from a personal development perspective.

And as a bonus, most of these costume ideas will make great conversation starters!

personal growth slimeSo come on in and browse through the Personal Growth Costume Corner.

First up we have:

Metamorphic Slime

When a caterpillar goes into its cocoon a very interesting process happens. The body of the caterpillar completely breaks down into what scientists refer to as metamorphic slime. The caterpillar does not just lose a few legs and grow wings. Rather the caterpillar breaks down into the essential building blocks that then get recreated in the form of a butterfly.

From time to time in our personal growth it can feel as if we are breaking down into metamorphic slime! And sometimes, in order to be recreated at a higher level, it requires that we be broken down into the essential building blocks.

So if you are feeling the need to experience Metamorphic Slime on a physical level this costume may be the way to go.

I’m not sure how you would pull this one off. You might want to try making up a big batch of “Goo,” “Flubber,” or even “Oobleck!” Try this page for some recipes, or you can try this page.

Next we have:

Your Comfort Zone

That’s right, for the cost of an old cardboard box, you can create a model of your comfort zone! And what better to get to know your comfort zone than to dress up as it for Halloween.

Just get yourself a big box and cut out holes for your head and feet (leave your arms confined inside the box). Then hang all the beautiful things you want more of just outside the box: money (or dollar signs) love (or hearts) pictures of a new car or house, anything you can think of that seems to be just beyond your reach right now.

You’ll also want to hang your trick or treat bag on the outside of the box and watch helplessly as it gets filled with more and more goodies that you can’t reach. Sorry, you’re safely tucked away in your comfort zone!

For bonus personal growth points, at the end of the night, ritually break out of the box to symbolize that you are breaking out of your comfort zone.

Now, for those of you looking for a more traditional approach to a personal growth costume how about:

Personal Growth halloween costumes - ThorYour Favorite Super Hero

The great thing about super heroes is that, when they’re not out “saving the world,” most of them have real lives and real problems. Some of them struggle with money, some struggle with business, almost all of them struggle with relationships.

It’s a great reminder that we’re all heroes in some ways, even though we struggle in some areas of our lives.

If you’re focusing a bit too much on the struggles, a good Halloween costume might be your favorite super hero. It will help you shift your focus onto the hero inside of you.

And then there’s always the:

Great Master

Sometimes in our personal development it’s helpful to “act as if.” Halloween is a perfect time for exercising those act as if muscles. Dress up as Jesus, Buddha, Moses, Muhammad, or some other great Master. The key, of course, is to not just dress like them, but to become like them.

For one night, act as if you are this person. (That probably means you won’t be out tossing rotten eggs and smashing your neighbor’s pumpkins this year!)

And if you’re interested in sharing your dreams with your neighors and friends, how about:

A Vision Board/Box/Sphere

Imagine walking around for a night surrounded by your visions. It’s possible. Create a vision board costume. It could be a vision board a vision box or a vision ball.

The box is probably easiest to make, and gives you the most room to dream big, and unlike the comfort zone box, this one would have arm holes. A vision board would work if you’re pretty skinny. And the vision sphere has a nice “no beginning, no ending” sort of feel to it.

If you’re going to do this one, just make sure you have LOTS of magazines available before you start!

And finally we have:

A Tuning Fork

Law of Attraction enthusiasts will recognize this one as a symbol of attraction. (We attract things into our lives based on our vibrational offering).

There are a number of ways that you could pull this one off. The details are up to you.

For bonus points, and a lot of fun, you could get a whole bunch of your friends to dress up as tuning forks. And from time to time, one of you can start “vibrating” which, of course, starts the rest of you vibrating until the whole group is happily buzzing! (This is good technique to use when the halloween party conversation becomes a bit dull).

So have you found your last minute personal growth halloween costume? I hope so. And if not, perhaps these ideas have triggered another possibility for you.

Whatever costume you choose, have a happy Halloween!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Fun, Personal Growth 

A Life Lesson From Candy Land

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Life Lesson From CandyLandHere’s a Fun Friday post in honor of next week’s sweet and spooky holiday.My daughter received the board game Candyland for her fourth birthday a couple of weeks ago. And since then, just about every night before bed she wants to play it.

But after a few nights of playing by the rules, she’s discovered that she doesn’t like playing that way. (I can’t imagine where she gets that trait from!)

Instead of picking a card and going where it tells her, she prefers to decide where she wants to go and then find the card that will take her there! For example, if she feels like going to the space with the lollipop, she’ll search through the deck until she finds the lollipop card.

Personally, I like Ella’s method much better.

And, in addition to being a fun way to play the game, it strikes me as a very effective approach to life.

Let’s face it, you can accept the “card you are dealt” and go where it takes you, or you can choose where you want to go and find the card that will get you there!

Your choice!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Fun, Law of Attraction, Parenting, Personal Growth 

Fun Friday: I’m A Purist Expert Socialite Blogger

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What Kind of Blogger Are You?
Charlene at Essential Keystrokes just reminded me about Blog Action Day. If you haven’t already heard of it (where have you been?) it’s a virtual gathering of blogs that’s going to happen this coming Monday.

“What would happen if every blog published posts discussing the same issue, on the same day?
One issue. One day. Thousands of voices.”

The issue is the Environment. So if you’re a blogger, consider linking up to the Blog Action Day site and posting something about the environment on Monday. Bloggers Unite - Blog Action Day

And in the meantime, go take their fun little quiz to find out what kind of blogger you are. I’m a Purist, Expert, Socialite. But of course you already knew that!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Fun, blogs 

The Problogger Contest Is Still Going On

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Just in case you haven’t heard, the birthday party is still happening over at Problogger and there are some truly amazing prizes up for grabs. There are over $50,000 worth of prizes available.

You don’t have to be a blogger to win most of them. So go head on over to Problogger and see what you can win!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Fun, blogs 

What Does Evolvelocity Mean To You?

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What would you think if you saw the website www.evolvelocity.com?

And how about a company named Evolvelocity Training? What thoughts and feelings come up for you?

Leave your honest comments below. And thanks in advance for helping me do a bit of informal market research!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Fun, business 

How to Install Love

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What if we could, as in the Matrix for instance, install “programs” into our personal “operating system?” What if we could accelerate our personal growth by uninstalling non-supportive programs like Low Self-Esteem and Resentment, and replacing them with Total-Self-Acceptance and Love?

Well various versions of this imaginary tech support call have been floating around the web and/or email for years.  But I Stumbledupon one version again and it just hit me in a different way than in the past. So I thought I would put my own little touches on it and share it with you.

Many thanks to the wise, apparently annonymous author who created the first version of this story. (If there is someone to credit for this, please let me know and I’ll update this post).

And Enjoy:

Tech Support: Thank you for calling tech support for HOS - that’s Human Operating Systems. How can I be of assistance?

Customer: Well I’ve had this Love Program sitting around for a while and finally decided to install it. But it seems a bit complicated and I don’t want to mess it up. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Absolutely. That’s why I’m here. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: I think so.

Tech Support: Great. Let’s go. The first step is to check for any potentially conflicting programs that might be running in your heart .

Customer: Sounds good. How do I do that?

Tech Support: First hit Ctrl, Alt, Delete all at the same time. Got it?

Customer: Yes.

Tech Support: Great: Now click on the tab that says Heart Applications. Do you see that?

Customer: I do. Got it.

Tech Support: Perfect. What applications are running.

Customer: I see Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge
and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, we’ll have to uninstall the Grudge and Resentment programs. They prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and click on the Forgiveness program. You may need to do this several times in order to completely erase Grudge and Resentment from the system. In fact, I recommend that most people run their forgiveness program at least once a day.

Customer: I can see what you mean. It feels like this might take a while.

Tech Support: I can wait. Take your time…

Customer: Okay, done! And it seems like Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error - Program not run on external components.” What should I do? *

Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Go to the Start Menu again and click on the Self-Acceptance program. Got it?

Customer: Yes. It’s running.

Tech Support: Great now go to the modules drop-down menu and check the boxes next to: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Perfect. Now, click on the box that says “Copy new modules to Heart Directory.” And then click on the “OK” button. Once you do that, the system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.

Customer: Done… Hey! I can feel my heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Shareware. And the interesting thing is that the more you share it with others the more stable your personal installation will become. So be sure to pass it along to everyone you meet.

Customer: I’ll definitely do that. Thank you so much,.

Tech Support: Thank YOU for installing Love!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Fun, Inspiration, Personal Growth 

A Positive Personal Growth Application For The F-Word

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In addition to the powerful branding work that’s happening at the BrandU seminar, I’m gaining lots of other interesting insights.

Yesterday, in the midst of a particularly frustrating and uncomfortable exercise, one of the participants blurted out the f-word. This, of course, brought a round of laughter to the room as most of us recognized and shared some level of frustration and discomfort as we pushed through the edges of our respective comfort zones.

But after the laughter died down, she quickly reminded us that the f-word is really an acronym for:

Future
Understanding
of
Conscious
Knowledge.

I love that. And it’s so true. Unless you’re someone who throws that word into every sentence for emphasis, when you reach the point of frustration that catalyzes the use of the f-word, it usually comes out at a time when you’re on the verge of accessing some new knowledge consciously, although for the moment the full understanding of it remains unconscious.

So the next time that F U C K blurts out, smile and feel grateful that you are on the verge of Future Understanding of Conscious Knowledge.

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Fun, Inspiration, Personal Growth 

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