Purpose Vs. Obligation

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Have you ever done something for the sheer joy of it?

Have you ever made something for no reason other than the making of it?

Have you ever gone somewhere just because it was there?

If so, you have experienced the feeling and the vibration of Purpose.

I’ve been exploring this feeling and vibration lately, exploring it and attempting to untangle it, in my own space, from the contradictory feeling and vibration of obligation.

You see, I grew up in a family where obligation was the motivating factor that drove the actions of my parents. My father spent his life working as a lawyer, a career he came to dislike more and more, in order to provide for his family. He worked from obligation. And that obligation led to resentment and anger. As I grew, I vowed, mostly unconsciously, that I would NEVER work because of a sense of obligation. I would “find my purpose” and do the work “I’m meant to do.” That’s what I vowed.

But what good does it do to find your purpose and the work you’re meant to do if you end up doing them from a vibration of obligation?

Do you know a doctor who does great work in the world, helping people, healing people, but does it because he feels obligated?

How about an activist who feels obligated to go to every rally and demonstration?

Or what about an energy healer who feels that she is personally responsible for healing every one of her clients?

And have you ever given money to a homeless person because you felt obligated – responsible, guilty, etc. – to do so?

I “found” my purpose long ago. The struggle for me was not finding my purpose. Rather, the struggle was, and remains, untangling the strands of obligation from that purpose so that I can pursue it with a vibration of pure joy.

Whatever our purpose might be as individuals the underlying purpose is to raise our personal vibration and, in the process, raise the vibration of this planet.

Acting from joy and love raises your vibration and the vibration of those around you. Acting from obligation dampens or lowers your vibration… no matter how noble or valuable the action might be!

Let me say that another way:

Doing noble things – healing people, working for a cause, giving money to someone in need – because you feel obligated to do so does NOT lead to a long-term, sustainable increase in your vibration and the vibration of those around you!

Now before you all jump down my throat and disagree, let me make this observation: You vibration may rise while you are engaged in the action but that heightened vibration is not sustainable if the action is based on obligation.

When I was doing energetic healing sessions my vibration would be sky-high during the session. But after the session, the strand of obligation that ran through my motivation would pull me down very quickly and often to a lower vibration than before the session.

So does the short-lived high vibration I held during the session, and the somewhat higher vibration of my client counteract the lower vibration I had after the session?

Obligation is a bottomless pit that can never be filled. No matter how much you do you can never meet and satiate that sense of obligation. Obligation digs the hole deeper as quickly as you fill it in.

Purpose is a solid foundation upon which you can build. When you act from purpose you create, you build.

For obligation there is never enough. You can never do enough, achieve enough, provide enough, be enough.

With purpose there is always enough. Every action is enough. Your very being is enough.

Every action you take from obligation attempts to bring you back to neutral. Every action you take from purpose adds to what you have already created.

So begin to pay attention to your motivation, not just your actions. What drives you to do what you do? Is it joy, love, and passion? Or is it responsibility, guilt, and fear? Are you acting from passion or obligation? Are you attempting to fill in that bottomless pit or build something of lasting value?

What action will you take from purpose today?

What will you do for the sheer joy of it?

What will you build? What will you create? What will you bring into this world today?

Let me know by leaving a comment below!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Personal Growth 

My (Belated) Birthday Gifts to You

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I’m back from my birthday Vision Quest. And all I can say is, “Wow!”

Some people have asked if it was “fun.” And I suppose that if being alone at 8000 feet in the mountains with acute altitude sickness for the first 36-hours followed by three and a half days of fasting could be fun… then, yes, it was fun!

No, I can’t honestly say it was “fun.” But I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that it was one of the most profound and empowering experiences I have had in a long time! And I would definitely not do it again next week. But, if I felt called to do another quest next year, I would.

I’ll be sharing some of my experiences and insights soon.  But I’m going to let them percolate for a while. Right now the information is still processing and integrating. Actually I feel like I’m still in “download” mode and that the processing and integrating hasn’t even really begun!

But… on my way up to the mountains last week, I realized that I had not put up a post about my annual birthday gifts to you! I sent out the announcement to my email list but, in my rush to get everything together for my trip, totally forgot to post it here. Please don’t take it personally!

Giving away gifts on my birthday has become an annual event. Taking a day when we are culturally conditioned to focus on what we are going to GET and turning it around to focus on what we can GIVE has been a huge gift for me! And I am immensely grateful that I have so much that I am able to offer you as a gift.

There are three birthday gifts for you this year. And, while they were set to expire today, because of my oversight, I’ve extended them through the weekend. You can find all of your birthday gifts here.

And here’s a quick preview of what I’ve got all wrapped up for you.

Personal Evolution Toolbox

Personal Evolution Toolbox

First you’ll get free access to the entire contents of the very first recording I ever made. I listened to it again before I left and, even though it’s several years old, there is some excellent material. And the two guided visualizations are both worthy of exploring! It’s called the Personal Evolution Toolbox and you can download it from the birthday gift page.

Next, if you’re a Bay Area Modern Day Mystic, I’ve got a super special deal on the Abundant Mystic Weekend coming up on October 24th – 25th. As my birthday gift to you, you’ll save $200 on the tuition for this incredible weekend experience!

And finally, I was offering 10, but now there are just 3 1-hour private Energy Medicine sessions available for just $47. These private sessions, when I offer them, which is quite rare these days, are $175/hour! But, as one of my birthday gifts to you I wanted to make these sessions available.

There are only 3 spots left, and when they’re gone, they’re gone. So head on over to my Birthday Bonus page and get registered.

If you have any questions about any of the gifts, or anything else, for that matter, drop me a line using my contact form.

And watch for Vision Quest updates coming soon!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Personal Growth 

Why I’m Going On A Vision Quest

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desolation-wildernessTomorrow morning I leave for Desolation Wilderness. Even though there are LOTS of wonderful wilderness areas to explore in Northern California, something about Desolation Wilderness keeps calling me back.

This time I’m going alone for 7-days with no distractions – no camera, no books, no music, no journal – nothing that could get in the way of my connection with myself, the wisdom of the Earth and the guidance of my Source. And from sundown on Friday night until sunup on Tuesday morning, I’ll be fasting and meditating and praying as I seek guidance and clarity.

Some of the reactions have been quite amusing as I explain that I’m going out into the wild world alone for 7-days with nothing to read, write, listen to, or take pictures with.

“Are you nuts?” seems to be the meaning behind the befuddled looks on their faces.

Perhaps I am nuts!

There is certainly a part of me that feels as if I”m nuts. The part of me that is scared sh-tless about heading out there alone for 7-full days. I’ve been out on my own for 4-days, and that was a long time. How will I survive on my own for 7-days? Well, I’m about to find out!

But why? Why am I taking a week out of my already quite full life to sit in silence with nothing around me other than the granite boulders, mountain water, marmots and ground squirrels and trees?

The easy answer is that I received clear guidance that it was time for me to do this. I was wondering how I could celebrate my 45th birthday in a way that would symbolize the transition from the very challenging period of my life that I am moving out of  and into the new phase that feels expansive and peaceful. And it was clear that this was the perfect time for a Vision Quest.

And what, exactly, is a Vision Quest?

black-elkA Vision Quest is an initiatory experience or rite of passage. It is most often associated with Native American traditions, though almost all indigenous cultures have some form of vision quest. There are as many ways to quest as there are cultures. But, regardless of how one quests, the purpose is the same: To seek personal growth and spiritual guidance from the world of Spirit and the wisdom of the Earth.

Here is what Black Elk wrote about the Vision Quest:

A Vision Quest is an experience of deeper understanding of Nature and Spirit. It is a ceremony practiced by American Indians. To prepare for this “insight” one must first cleanse the body and mind by going through an Inipi or sweat lodge. Then with the help of a Holy Man is told certain things and must go to a spot, usually on a holy mountain, and stay 2 or 3 days. During this time no food is eaten and one does not sleep but spends the time in deep prayer and observation. Many times, but not always, there is a vision. This vision is then shared with the Holy Man to help learn of its meaning. Sometimes the meaning is not shown for several years afterward.

I will quest in the Lakota tradition. On my second day out I will find a spot that calls to me, a space that feels sacred. I will prepare my questing space by smudging the circle, setting up my prayer ties for protection, placing my water and laying out my sleeping pad and bag. Everything else will stay outside of my questing circle.

After a light dinner, at sundown on Friday night, I will enter the circle and I will not leave the circle until after the sun has come up on the morning of the 4th day.

While I am questing, I will meditate, pray, probably do some crying as I shed old beliefs and patterns and thoughts about who I am. And if I open myself enough I hope to receive guidance and perhaps a clear vision of my path. But, whether or not I receive a “vision” I know that this time will bring me into a deeper connection with my true self and my Source.

The Vision Quest is a powerful tool for personal growth because it integrates a deep connection to nature with solitude and silence.

If you have ever been on a silent meditation retreat, you understand the power of silence to catalyze great shifts in your awareness.

Likewise, if you have ever spent any extended time in nature, alone or with others, you understand the power of the Earth to awaken long dormant wisdom.

The wilderness has always been a place where humans can connect with spirit and seek answers to questions and solutions to problems of the physical realms.

But all of this still has not answered the question of why I am going on this Vision Quest.

Certainly the answer I gave earlier – that I received guidance to quest at this time – is not a clear answer. But unfortunately, that may be the best answer there is at this time.

Admittedly, this is a time of some inner turmoil and confusion for me. I have been questioning my path, my purpose, my meaning. I have been struggling to understand why I am here. Certainly, I would welcome clarity and a deeper understanding of my purpose and the next steps on my path.

I am also experienced enough to know that I could come down from that mountain as confused as I am now! As Black Elk said, “Sometimes the meaning is not shown for several years afterward.”

Will the meaning be clear to me when I return, or will I have to wait several years? I will let you know!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Inner Guidance, Personal Growth, ritual