A Simple New Year’s Eve Ritual – Letting Go And Calling Forth

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[Author’s Note: This is an updated version of my New Year’s Eve post from last year. Enjoy.]

For much of my life I didn’t quite “get” New Year’s Eve. I was never much of a stay up late, drink yourself silly, wake up with a hangover type of guy. It probably didn’t help that, when it came to drinking, my friends gave me the nickname “No Mas” because of my tendency to get a bit, how shall we say, obnoxious, after one beer!

So through high school, college, and into my early working years, I didn’t really fit in with most of my friends and acquaintances when it came to New Year’s Eve. I tried to fit in, but I always felt like something was missing or wrong. It seemed to me that there was or should have been more significance to the turning of the year than we were giving it with a few drinks and some casual conversations about resolutions.

So it was with a great sense of relief and even a sense of homecoming, that I learned about other ways to celebrate and honor the turning of the year.

So for those of you that are interested in alternative New Year’s celebrations, I thought I would share the simple ritual that we use to welcome the New Year. This ritual is deceptively simple, but surprisingly powerful. I have done this ritual camping alone in Point Reyes, with my wife in our living room and with about 40 other friends and acquaintances.

Your ritual does not need to be associated with a particular religion or belief system – although it certainly can be. We bring in elements from our Judeo-Christian upbringing as well as elements from the indigenous cultures we have studied. Usually it all flows together. Sometimes it doesn’t. But it always works in some odd way.

The bottom line is that, if your intention is clear, there is no “wrong” way to do a ritual.

Over the past several years, our New Year’s Eve ritual has evolved and changed, but regardless of the specific form it takes, there are really just two key steps:

1. Letting go of what you don’t want to carry into the New Year

2. Acknowledging and welcoming your intentions for the New Year.

It really is that simple: What do you want to let go of? And what do you want to call forth?

For instance, you might want to let go of a non-supporting belief such as “If I focus on getting rich I’m being greedy,” or a self-sabotaging pattern such as promising to do things and not following through.

And, in the New Year, you might want to call into your life a new job or career, a new relationship, more money, a tropical vacation or a child. Be careful with that last one. My wife and I, independently, called a child into our life on New Year’s Eve five years ago. Melissa was pregnant less than 6-weeks later!

The specifics of the ritual are up to you. It can be as simple as first creating a clear image of the things you are releasing and taking some time to “feel” them leaving your body and your life and then creating an equally, or even clearer, image and feeling of the things you are calling into your life in the New Year.

This ritual can also be quite involved. Three years ago we had a crowd of almost 40 people crammed into a friend’s house. As a group, we took the time to create sacred space by calling in the four-directions, the elements, and the Ancestors. Then three of us drummed while the entire group sang. One-by-one each of us went to the fireplace and offered our intentions to the fire.

I can assure you that a group ritual such as this amplifies your intentions dramatically. But you don’t need forty people to create a powerful ritual. When it comes to ritual, the point is not how large the group is or the specific things you do. The most important element of any ritual is your intention and commitment.

So perhaps this year, even if you are at a raucous New Year’s party, you can take some time to slip outside to let go of what you with to leave behind and call in your intentions for 2008.

And however you spend this evening, I wish you a safe and joyous New Year’s Eve and a New Year filled with ever-expanding joy, peace and abundance.

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Intentions, Personal Growth, ritual 

Two Poems To Celebrate The Darkness

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We have just passed the longest night of the year. And this morning I woke before dawn and watched as the light began to illuminate the clouds. With every moment, the sunrise became more beautiful, and by the time I left for my Saturday morning hike, the sky looked very much like this photograph.

(I grumbled for a moment after running inside to find my camera and coming up empty handed. But I quickly decided I was meant to enjoy the coming of the light without distractions).

Last night, after I put Ella to bed, I was thinking about the Solstice and this dark time of year. With all the attention on Christmas and Chanukah and New Year’s Eve, the significance of the Solstice can easily be overlooked and forgotten.

It often feels as if we have pushed darkness from our lives. Even the darkest nights are filled with the glow of digital clocks and night lights. And when we wake in the dark of the morning, the first thing we do is turn on the light.

This pushing away of the external darkness reflects a similar pushing away of the inner darkness. But it is within that darkness that we find our greatest gifts. Jung said that our “gold” waits within the shadow. In order to find and claim those gifts we must be willing to enter the shadow.

So to honor this time of year I thought I would share two of my favorite poems about darkness: Poems that remind us of the power and beauty contained in the dark.

To go in the dark with a light is to know the light,
To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.

Wendell Berry

Have you ever noticed a sense of relief and excitement during a power failure? Have you ever let yourself settle into that deep darkness that descends when the flashlights are turned off and the last candle is blown out?

I think our bodies crave that deep natural darkness: The kind of darkness you get on a cloudy, moonless night in the mountains. The kind of darkness you get sleeping in the deep forest. The kind of darkness you get when the power goes out.

The kind of sweet darkness that most of us no longer experience.

Sweet Darkness:

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

~ David Whyte ~

So while we are in this dark time of year, and even as we now move towards the time of light, can you go into the dark? Can you turn off the flashlights, blow out the candles and step into the darkness without light? There is treasure in that darkness. There are gifts that you will not find in the light. But when you find them, you can bring them into the light, and share them.

Photo Credit: Before Sunrise by Algo.

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Personal Growth, Poetry 

A Law of Attraction Carnival Update

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If you’ve been a participant in or a reader of the Law of Attraction Carnival, you’ve probably noticed that there hasn’t been one in a while. In fact the last carnival here at Evolving Times was on September 25th. The last carnival edition was on October 9th hosted at Feels Like Magic.

So what’s up?

Well a few things have shifted. As I was planning for and working on the site redesign I also took some time to re-examine my vision for Evolving Times and the focus and direction.

What I discovered was that, while the Law of Attraction is an important piece of my work and belief system, it is not the only piece, nor is it even the biggest piece. And I was becoming a bit uncomfortable that I was becoming recognized as a Law of Attraction blogger. My approach to personal growth is far too eclectic to be defined and confined by the Law of Attraction label.

And I must also admit that I was getting a bit tired of weeding through carnival submissions that had nothing to do with the Law of Attraction or the specific edition topic.

There were always a handful of brilliant, on-topic posts, but there were far more posts of questionable value. And since I want every link on this site to point to something of real value for you, I just couldn’t include them.

My original plan was to take a short hiatus from the carnival and come back with renewed enthusiasm. But after my visioning process, it’s quite clear that it’s time for me to move on from the Law of Attraction carnival.

But I would really love to see someone take it over. If you do, you’ll inherit some good link juice. The Law of Attraction page over at the blog carnival site has a PageRank of 4 and it’s still the first page that comes up when you search for Law of Attraction within Blog Carnival. And you’ll also get several links from Evolving Times.

Since most –sane – people are out shopping instead of surfing around the blogosphere, I’ll put out another post after the holidays to see if anyone is interested in taking over the carnival. But if you’re sanity is in question and you’re actually reading this and have an interest in the carnival, let me know.

And, I have to say that, even though it’s time to move on, it sure was fun. I met some incredible people through the carnival and hopefully shared some positive, inspiring information.

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Carnival, Law of Attraction, Personal Growth, blogs 

The Holiday Anti-Stress Guide: 19 Tips For A Relaxing Holiday Season

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holiday stress - personal growthSo here we are in the season of joy, but let’s face it, for many people, it should be called the season of stress. Shopping, parties, shopping, wrapping, traveling, cooking, eating, decorating, oh and did I mention shopping? They all add up to stress. At least they can if we let them.

It’s quite possible to have a stress-free, joy-filled holiday season, at least in theory. It really just takes a little bit of awareness and a just a bit of will power.

So if you want to wake up on January 1st feeling rested, and relaxed rather than run over by a Mac truck, take a look at these 19 simple tips for having a low stress holiday season.

1. Communicate early and often:

With all the added responsibilities and time drains during this season, communication with family and friends can take a hit. Have you ever had a conversation like this?

“What are you going to wear to the party tomorrow night?”
“What party?”

Or how about this one?

“Honey, do you remember what time Mike and Shannon are coming over tonight?”
“Tonight? What?!?”

Can you say stress?

Clear communication is always important, but especially so during this busy time. What parties have you been invited to? What parties are you going to? What parties are you declining? How much will you spend on gifts for family members? (Another big stress point is when a couple’s gift spending is way out of balance. You know, he gets her an emerald necklace, she gets him a necktie!)

Set up regular times to meet and talk about these issues. Set up a board for messages and notes. Set up a special holiday calendar noting parties, when guests are coming and travel plans.

2. Eat well:

At this time of year, it’s easy to fall into bad eating patterns. Temptaton is everywhere! Between the candy that started showing up in your office after Halloween and the Thanksgiving desserts to all the sweets you’ll find at your holiday parties, you’re likely to pack in a log of extra sugar, caffeine, alcohol and processed foods. All of these add to the stress on your body which, in turn, makes it more difficult for you to deal with any mental and emotional stress. So before you grab that fourth eggnog or that second piece of fruitcake, take a deep breath and ask yourself if you really need it..

3. Shop early:

Well I guess it’s too late for this one. But there’s always next year! Of course, if you were planning to do your shopping on Christmas Eve, you may still get some benefit from this tip!

4. Shop locally:

On Friday evening, my daughter and I did some of our holiday shopping. Instead of driving to a mall, sitting in traffic, jockeying for a parking space and waiting in long lines, we walked to town, wandered around the local shops, listened to some wonderful street performers playing holiday songs, and had a thoroughly enjoyable time. Even if you can’t walk to your local town, there is probably an alternative to the mall nearby which often makes for a much more pleasant shopping experience.

5. Shop online:

I love to support my local shops and do so as much as possible. But I’ll be the first to admit that online shopping is perhaps the ultimate anti-stress method for shopping. Books, electronics, CDs, games, you name it. It’s all available. Plus you don’t have to worry about bringing your packages to the post office. And many online shops will even wrap your gifts for you. Can you say, “Ahhhh?”

6. Delegate:

You can’t do it alone. If you’re attempting to do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, wrapping, decorating and shipping all by yourself, you’re screwed. If you’re in a relationship or part of a family unit, this is where that clear communication comes in. Delegate! Get clear on what you’re going to do, what your partner will do, and what the kids will do. Make it clear that if they don’t do the tasks assigned to them, they’re not going to get done!

If you’re not in a relationship, fear not, this is where friends come in handy. Do your shopping together, have a wrapping party, share cooking duties. You can combine your tasks to increase efficiency, or you can just do your stuff together to make it more fun. Either way, it’s far less stressful than doing it alone.

7. Take time to relax:

If you think I’m nuts to suggest taking time to relax during this season, this tip is most definitely for you! It doesn’t have to be much: treat yourself to a 15-minute chair massage at the mall or market. Take a warm bath. Spend some time reading a mindless book. Close your eyes and meditate for a few minutes. Find time each day – even if it’s just 5-minutes – to unwind and bring yourself down from the fast pace of the world around you.

8. Get enough sleep:

At this time of year, burning the candle at both ends becomes the norm for many people. When you are sleep deprived, the effects of stress become much more noticeable. So during this holiday season, see if you can resist the temptation to stay up until midnight wrapping presents and checking your email.

9. Manage your time wisely:

In order to ensure a good night’s sleep you need to manage your time wisely. During the rest of the year, it’s possible to slack off a bit with time management and still get by. If we waste 20-minutes driving to an out of the way store for something we don’t really need it’s usually not a big deal.

The free online system, Simpleology 101, is a great tool for managing and tracking your tasks. It’s the system I use all year around, and it really gets a workout this time of year.

10. Set clear boundaries at work:

Whether you work for a company or for yourself, it’s important to set clear guidelines boundaries. How late are you going to work? What days are you taking off during the holiday season? Mark those times and dates in your calendar (USE BIG BOLD MARKERS!) and stick to it. If you’re taking off the week between Christmas and New Year, take it off, don’t “sort of” take it off. There’s nothing more stressful for you or your family than to feel pulled towards your computer when you’re supposed to be enjoying family time.

11. Be willing to say “no:”

How many holiday parties will you attend this year? How many events will you volunteer for? Remember it’s ok to say no. The urge to “do it all” and see everyone is strong. But it’s also stressful. At this time of year most people have multiple parties to go to on any given night. So they get it if you have to say no. Do yourself a favor: Enjoy one party fully, rather than driving around to three different events.

12. Consider going to just one family gathering:

Let’s face it, family gatherings can be fun and festive and filled with joy, or they can be boring, emotional and filled with stress. Either way, one is often quite enough. When you add in marriage, divorce, remarriage, and divorced parents, there is the potential for Christmas Eve and Day to a celebration of driving rather than a joyous time to connect with loved ones. As hard as it may be for you to believe, it is ok to tell your family that you won’t be visiting them this year.

13. Set a holiday budget:

One of the most stressful aspects of the holiday season for many people is the spending. Between buying gifts, traveling to see family, getting a tree and new decorations, the holiday season can be expensive. Without a a clear budget, it’s very easy to wake up to a bunch of credit card bills in January that are far worse than your hangover! Sit down with your family before the holidays (it’s not too late to do this now) and be honest about how much you want to spend and how much you can spend and how much you WILL spend. Feel free to tell your friends and family that you’ll be giving hand-made or inexpensive gifts this year.

If you’re looking for some inexpensive alternatives to the “usual” gifts, check out this post on inexpensive gifts that improve your life.

14. Exercise:

Running from store to store, brawling with other customers over the last Wii, and those 12-ounce curls while you’re watching the parade don’t count! Dancing at your office holiday party (if you really get down and funky) might count! Exercise is one of the best ways to release the stress. This is no time to indulge that inner couch potato. When you move your body the built up stress has a way to leave your body. And that’s good! So get to the gym or the yoga studio. Hop on that stationary bike or put on your snowshoes and get outside. But whatever you do, move your body on a regular basis.

15. Listen to Christmas songs (unless they really irritate you!):

I find Christmas songs very relaxing and fun and often funny. So at this time of year, when I’m stuck in holiday traffic, I surf the radio for some good holiday songs to sing along with. My wife, on the other hand, finds them extremely annoying most of the time. So this technique wouldn’t work for her! Use your best judgment.

16. Smile:

It’s the season of joy. Show it! When you’re out shopping, smile at people you see. Give a big smile to the cashier – believe me, they will appreciate it. And the best part is that your smile will make you feel better. Try it!

17. Breathe:

Sure, you’re breathing all the time. You’re breathing right now, I hope. It’s not like you’re going to stop breathing while you’re out there doing a marathon shopping spree. Well, you might actually. Not completely of course, but when we get stressed out our breathing gets faster, and shallower and we don’t get nearly as much oxygen as we need. So, when you find yourself stuck in traffic or waiting in the slowest line (again) or looking at a maxed out credit card bill, take a moment to remember to breathe and feel that extra oxygen working its relaxing magic on your body and mind.

18. Be nice:

I can’t think of anything more stressful than watching two grown adults fighting over a toy or arguing about who is first in line. Well maybe being one of those adults fighting over the toy would be more stressful. At this time of year, niceness goes a long way. When you’re checking out, ask the cashier how she’s doing, and really be interested in her answer. Give the waiter an extra tip, even if he didn’t do such a great job. Let the other person have that parking spot, even if you saw it first. Little things like this go a long way to bringing true joy to this season. And after all isn’t that what it’s all about?

And finally…

peace-on-earth19. Remember what this season is really about:

It’s so easy to get caught up in the commercialism of the holiday season. But what is this time of year really about for you? It doesn’t matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, take time to think about and remember what this season means to you. Shopping and gift-giving and parties and merry-making are all great. But when that’s all there is, it’s easy for stress to find it’s way into your life. When you remember what the holiday season means for you - whether it’s joy, compassion, peace, generosity, faith, love, or anything else – there is a calmness that descends upon you and helps you move through this stressful time with a feeling of peace.

So enjoy this holiday season. And if any of these tips help you get through it with less stress, I would love to hear about it. Leave a comment below. And also leave other stress-reducing tips that you use during this season.

Image Credits:

Grumpy Holiday Girl - Rosemarie Gearhart at iStockphoto.com
Holiday Massage - The Naked Photographer.
Peace on Earth - Lisa Norwood.

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Joy, Personal Growth 

Personal Growth Resource Roundup #8

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Happy Saturday! It’s time for another Personal Growth Resource Roundup. I’ve been a bit busy getting ready for the new theme installation and twiddling my thumbs waiting for the comments to start pouring in!

I want to start off this week with a few reminders. There are some great resources available through the end of the year either for free or at a deep discount.

First a reminder about the open house at the Institute of Noetic Studies. For another week or so, through December 24th, IONS has opened their entire online library of personal growth resources to the public. This is an extensive collection of articles, audios and videos from many of the world’s leading experts in personal growth, spiritual development, quantum physics and more.

I know it’s a busy time but their doors are only open for another few days. So go take advantage of it now.

Next, I talked about The Law of Attraction Superhighway a couple of weeks ago. In case you missed it, the LOA Superhighway is a package of interviews with 10 of the top Law of Attraction coaches in the world. Some of the incredible coaches interviewed include Drew Rozell, Eva Gregory, Anisa Aven and some guy named Edward Mills.

Add in the bonuses worth over $1000 and you’ve got a winning package!

The price on the package goes up by $50 in January. So go check out the Law of Attraction Superhighway now.

I’ve also talked about the Personal Development Partners site. With all the shopping and decorating and party-going and card sending, personal development may be way down low on your priority list. But for many people, this can be a time of increased stress. Which makes it the perfect time other people focused on personal growth.

Find an accountability partner, share your stories in one of the inspiring forums, or take advantage of some of the amazing personal growth resources. However you choose to use the Personal Development Partners site you’ll definitely come out feeling better!

The holidays can be a stressful time and there’s no better way to beat the stress than to find a partner for accountability, support and encouragement. And PDP is one of the best places to find that person.

Now for a few quick, inspiring reads:
If you’re looking for some straight shooting, pull no punches, rules for life, look no further than Craig Harper. Here are his 25 rules for life!

If you’re having trouble finding the perfect gift for someone, check out this “ask the readers” post at Zenhabits. Leo has asked his readers to suggest gifts that: 1. Help improve your life and 2. Don’t cost a lot. A great combination!

In last week’s Monday Motivation post, at Emoms at Home, Wendy laid it on the line. Is there something you’ve been putting off because you “hate” it? Well you might want to join the crowd for Wendy’s next Monday Motivation day and see if you can get it done!

Ok, that’s going to do it for this week. Watch for some more holiday themed personal growth resources next week. And until then, keep growing!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Personal Growth 

When You Hear Those Negative Voices Remember That You Have A Choice

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Back in June, Joe Vitale moved his blog from a hosted platform to a self-hosted Wordpress blog. It was a good move for him. But there was a bit of a learning curve involved and for the first couple of days he didn’t realize that all of his comments were waiting to be approved.

Here’s a bit of what he wrote about those two, long days:

I put up this new blog two days ago, wrote two new posts, invited my entire email list to come review it, and waited for the applause.

Nothing.

No comments.

No emails.

No love letters, cookies, cigars, care packages, Amazon gift certificates, or anything else.

What happened to my audience?

I started to think that no one loved the new blog, or my new posts, or me.

Amazing how the mind falls back to negativity if it isn’t guarded against.

Joe’s words kept ringing in my head today.

After spending weeks working on a new theme for Evolving Times and finally making the big change last night, I found it quite astonishing that there were absolutely no comments on the new theme today.

I went to bed last night, thrilled with how smoothly the update had gone. No glitches. No major snafus. And I was sure that I would wake up to a few comments from my east coast readers. But when I logged in this morning there were none. When I left the office at 1:00 to pick up my daughter, there were still no comments in sight.

By then, the negative thoughts were getting pretty loud in my head. I can definitely relate to Joe’s thought that “no one loved the new blog… or me.”

But I wasn’t ready to give in to those thoughts. I was not ready to let the negative voices “win.” So I spent a wonderfully fun afternoon with my daughter, walking around town, stopping in a few stores and enjoying some unexpected live music on the plaza.

I checked once more after dinner. Still no no comments. The voices were getting louder, but Joe’s experience still echoed in my head as I started coming up with possible reasons why there were no comments: “Maybe everyone is out shopping.” And, “Lots of people have switched out their theme lately. It’s easy for one more theme update to slip under the radar screen.”

But after Ella went to bed and still none, I started to wonder if there might be something wrong.Last night when I installed the new theme I submitted a test comment without a problem. But, maybe one of the upgraded plugins I installed messed something up. So I submitted another test comment. No problem.

So where were all the comments? Good, bad, indifferent: It didn’t matter. And it didn’t make sense. After all, it’s been a LONG time since a full day has gone by without a single comment here!

Then I had one of those “aha” moments. I logged out of my administrator’s account and tried to submit another comment.

Bingo.

There it was. The dreaded error message: “You have not filled in you math comment spam form. Please go back and fill it in.”

Of course, there was just one problem. There was no Math Comment Spam form!

The plugin was still installed and activated, but I had not added the form code to the comment page in my new theme. So anyone who tried to submit a comment - other than a logged in administrator - received an error message telling them to go back and fill out the field for the Math Comment form. And, without a form to do that, it just wasn’t going to happen.

It took five minutes to put the form is in place. I’ve successfully submitted a test comment after logging out of my administrator account. So everything is a go for comments!

Now I’ll just sit here at my computer refreshing the screen every 5-minutes until the first one comes in!

Not.

And in case you’re wondering, Joe had a similar “aha” when he realized that he had over 70 comments waiting to be moderated!

He ended his post with these wise words:

Goes to show you (or me): You can’t assume anything, you can’t allow negativity to slow you down and, with a little education, anything is possible.

It’s bedtime here. And I’ll sleep just a little bit better knowing that today, when I had a choice, I didn’t give in to the negative voices… and knowing that you all can leave comments now!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Personal Growth, blogs 

Evolving Times Has A New Look!

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No. Your eyes don’t deceive you. After two years with my hacked together three-column theme, I’ve changed to a brand new theme!

If you’re visiting ET over the next few days, you may see some things moving around as I get everything settled into place. If you notice something that doesn’t look right, feel free to leave a note in the comments below.

I’d also love to hear what you think of the new design. It’s a work in progress so I’m open to suggestions.

I want to send huge thanks out to Brian Gardner. The heart of this new look is Brian’s Revolution Theme for Wordpress. And not only is the theme itself totally awesome, Brian is one of the most helpful people I have met. He went way above and beyond in helping me figure some of the technical stuff out. If you’re looking for a new look for your blog, go check out Brian’s themes.

Thanks in advance for your patience as I iron out any little critters in the system.

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Personal Growth 

ANGER: Awakening New Growth Encountering Resistance

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It sure seems like there’s a lot more anger around lately. The cover story of the most recent Utne Reader asked “Why are we all so angry?”

Wikipedia has entries for, among others, Anger, Anger Management, Rage, Road Rage, Air Rage, Computer Rage, and even Wrap Rage, which is defined as “heightened levels of anger, frustration and violence resulting from the inability to open hard-to-remove packaging.”

Come on; raise your hand if you’ve ever wanted to take a bazooka to the 12 inches of bulletproof plastic wrap surrounding a tiny flash drive!

The topic of anger has also come up at the last two drop-in Law of Attraction groups, so I’ve been pondering it a bit lately.

Anger often gets labeled bad or lower or negative. Even the Law of Attraction emotional scale has labeled the lower half of the emotional scale “negative.” But as I explored earlier in a post about Redefining the Law of Attraction Emotional Scale, I don’t believe there are any bad or negative emotions. Those “lower” emotions serve a valuable purpose: They point out our resistance.

And anger is one of the most powerful expressions of resistance which is actually a good thing!

Anger is filled with energy and movement. Harnessing that energy can help propel you to the next level. But first you must acknowledge the anger, recognize it for what it is and accept the opportunity that comes with it.

So recently, when I have felt anger bubbling up from the depths I have begun to think of anger as:

Awakening
New
Growth
Encountering
Resistance.

When I approach anger with that attitude, it immediately softens my perspective and allows me to open up to the opportunities that the anger is bringing.

Instead of saying, “This is bad. I need to get out of this anger.” I can ask powerful, forward focused questions such as, “What is the new growth that is awakening in me?” or “How am I resisting that growth.” and “What can I do right now to release my resistance and allow this growth to blossom?”

These questions lead the way through the anger to personal growth and movement.

Anytime we label something as “bad” we immediately give it more power and cause it to become more entrenched and secure.

So the next time you feel anger starting to bubble up to the surface, don’t push it back down.

Instead, remind yourself that it is Awakening New Growth Encountering Resistance and see what you can do to open up and allow that new growth to come through.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, stories or insights about anger. Use the comment form below to join the conversation.

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Emotions, Feelings, Law of Attraction, Personal Growth 

Personal Growth Resource Roundup #7

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Hands holding a tree - Personal Growth ResourcesIt’s Saturday and time for another roundup of some powerful personal growth resources. As always, I’ll be drawing from sources beyond the typical personal growth arena. After all, personal growth is a full-time job and the best opportunities for growth often come in unexpected ways.

But let’s start with a very personal growth focused opportunity. If you have not heard of IONS - The Institute of Noetic Studies - I highly recommend that you check them out. They are on the leading edge of thought and bringing their extensive resources to the study and research of leading edge phenomena.

And, to celebrate the season of giving. IONS has opened their entire multimedia library at Shift In Action through December 24th. This is one of the most extensive collections of powerful personal growth resources I have seen. The library includes videos of Caroline Myss, Larry Dossey, Lynn McTaggart, teleseminars with Neale Donald Walsch, Deepak Chopra, articles from Lynn Twist, Jean Huston, and much much more!

So go check it out before the 24th. (You can become a member after that if you want).

Here’s the link again: Shift in Action.

Next up is an entry from Deb Call. I was very happy to discover Deb’s blog after following the trail begun by Karen Lynch, leading through a wonderful entry from Rick Cockrum and ending up at this insightful look at the Power of Plodding from Deb. Once again, I’m thrilled at the beautiful interconnectedness of this blogosphere.

I was having an online chat with my friend Dawud yesterday. I’m always amazed at how profound our virtual “chats” chats can be. Anyone who says that virtual communication is less powerful than personal connection has not had a chat with Dawud! And if you have not yet read Dawud’s entry about the birth of his daughter Laila it is one of the most beautiful birth stories I have ever read!

Another friend, Adam Kayce, has an extremely interesting post on the power of being a spiritual generalist. I’ve never thought of it in those terms, but when you read his post, you’ll see that it makes a lot of sense.

And finally, if you’ve ever had a difficult time accepting a compliment, Liz Strauss has some good tips on How to receive a compliment without looking like an idiot! Surely an important skill to have.

So until next week, enjoy these personal growth resources. They should keep you busy for a while!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Personal Growth, blogs 

Can Gray Whales Teach Humans About Forgiveness?

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gray whaleI happened to catch Fresh Air yesterday and an interview Terry Gross was doing with David Wilcove, author of the new book, No Way Home: The Decline of the World’s Great Animal Migrations.

(You can listen to the interview with David Wilcove here).

I tuned in just as they were talking about the gray whales, a species that had gone from fewer than 100 individuals in the late 1800s to a present day population of more than 25,000. By all estimates a stunning example of how conservation and protection can bring a species back from the brink of extinction.

But what really struck me was the story the author told about the relationship between gray whales and humans and the transformation that occurred after the whales were protected.

In the 1800s these whales were referred to as Devil Fish because of their ferociousness when hunted. And no wonder: One of the methods used to ensure the capture of adult female gray whales was to harpoon their calf first. The whalers knew that a mother would not abandon her calf even if it was dead. In this way the whalers successfully hunted a mother and a calf.

You can hardly blame the female gray whales for acting in this manner towards the whaling boats.

But after the US and Mexican governments began protecting these whales and a few decades had passed an interesting thing happened. Mexican fisherman began reporting that some of the gray whales would come right up to their boats. Some of them would bring their young. And there were even reports of whales coming up and allowing their heads to be scratched by the fisherman.

So in just a few decades these “Devil Fish” had transformed into gentle, curious creatures who liked having their heads scratched by fisherman.

And here we humans are, the supposedly more intelligent species, still hanging on to cultural resentments and hatred from events that occurred hundreds and even thousands of years ago.

Sure there are more recent events that have added fuel to the fire. But most of the conflicts and wars that we are witnessing now have their origins in events that happened decades, centuries and even millennia ago.

And in our own individual lives we hold onto “wrongs” done to us years and decades ago often by people who are no longer living.

Is it possible for us to learn about forgiveness from the gray whales?

What has allowed them to forgive us for the cruelty we inflicted upon them? Have they merely forgotten? Or is their essential, peaceful, nature stronger than any resentment, fear and anger they may have felt?

Are there wounds in your own life that you are keeping alive long after the source of the wound has gone?

Perhaps it’s time to risk going up to one of those boats to see if you can get your head scratched!

Posted by Edward Mills | Filed Under Personal Growth 

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